I hate all girls vehemently.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
