I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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