Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I skipped work to stalk him.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I'm both gender and math confused
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
