I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
