I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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