considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
