The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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