need another drink. this is the easiest way
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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