If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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