mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize