How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
