remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
