I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
