he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
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Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
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Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
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