after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Randomize
