OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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