Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
