Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
