he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
