guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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