How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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