I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
