Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
