I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
This is the high leading the old right now
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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