I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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