Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
