Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
