I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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