I hope mine doesn't look like that
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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