so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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