tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
