Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
