Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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