remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
