I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize