It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
