I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
