I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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