He asked me if I "almost moaned"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
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As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
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There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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