At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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