new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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