dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
