Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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