we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
