God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
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I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
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A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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