I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
i think i just naturally attract stoners