you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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