WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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