You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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