I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
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