I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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