hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Randomize
