he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
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I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
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After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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