She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
