a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
