he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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