I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
