I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
