i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
