Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize