That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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