"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
