i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Randomize
