I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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