I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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