So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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