Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
