hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
