we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
