saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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