; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
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So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
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It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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