Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize